Authority madness

Post photo: files | © Mariann Szőke from Pixabay

I've been trying to get a small matter sorted out by an authority for a few days now. If I were dealing with a computer program, preferably with artificial intelligence, everything would probably be done after two mouse clicks. I also believe that if I manage to get through to the person responsible, the whole thing could be done with a phone call in well under five minutes.

I'm not mentioning this authority by name for three reasons: firstly, I still have good memories of it, secondly, I consider the whole thing to be a fundamental problem and thirdly, I still need an official green tick on "my" process.

Anyone who has ever worked independently and responsibly in their life, perhaps even as a truly self-employed person, can no longer have any understanding for our authorities these days. If redundancies and reserves make sense, then it is in the Bundeswehr, which must work as best as possible and function successfully, especially in crisis and war situations. Excitingly, it is precisely there that the personnel keys are sewn to the limit, where, on the other hand, the smallest sub-authority of an administrative apparatus that is no longer necessary is so thickened with staff that it can no longer function for that reason alone.

Every architect and construction worker knows that without an appropriate foundation you cannot add as many floors as you like and even with the best foundation the entire building cannot grow in height indefinitely - our administrations are constantly trying to reduce this basic principle to absurdity!

So for a few days now I have been holding an official document in my hands which, given the date of the constitution, I should have received much earlier - I am assuming that this error is due to the Deutsche Post - and thus the deadline set there has become a sporting endeavor allowed to become.

The first thing that struck me was that there is no longer an email address, but there is a fax number. No problem for me, as I still have my own fax for such cases. But then it becomes my problem because the specified official fax connection is deader than dead, which my fax machine immediately and repeatedly prints out as a report.

No problem, I think, then I pick up the phone and call the designated clerk myself - I know the name from another case that I have fond memories of - and I'm even a little happy.

I thought that on the first attempt when no one answered, but on the second attempt I didn't, because I was put on an answering machine from the local operator, which showed me that all the employees were busy, and then made me wait endlessly again.

Hardened by the authorities, I dialed the switchboard to be put through. At first I ended up with an answering machine again, but on the next attempt I ended up with the central exchange, where a nice gentleman assured me that he would be happy to put me through to the local exchange again and actually did so, which put me in an endless waiting loop again. During the next attempt I even got back to the nice gentleman at the central exchange.

In between, I dialed the responsible clerk directly again, and finally I received a telephone message saying that he was unable to attend on business, which I can understand a little bit, as I have now received further information from those close to him.

Because as an old fox, I simply dialed “related” numbers and found out in nice conversations that he now works from home. I decided not to do so in order to find out his life story in further phone calls, as I work more on the factual level than on the relationship level. And meeting the deadline set for me - regardless of why it was set - is becoming increasingly difficult.

I'm afraid that in the time that I'm busy trying to talk, I could have worked through the entire annual backlog of at least this department - but that's not the goal of a German administration! In addition to having the highest possible number of employees, this also depends on an exorbitant amount of “overtime” - whatever that may be in an authority - and especially on unfinished tasks that pile up as theatrically as possible on the desks and in the offices .

The person I am speaking to is still unable to attend due to business reasons and the conversation will not be recorded.

Addendum

Outside of regular working hours, I finally reached the responsible clerk and less than three and a half minutes later the problem was solved - German bureaucracy can work too.

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